How the fuck could I be so stupid?  What the hell was I thinking?  An angry barrage of self-criticisms roared through my mind, as I hid in the shadow searching for a way out of the situation. The gooks had cut me off. I could not believe I’d been caught taking a piss outside of the camp. A sharp throbbing pain radiated up my leg, convincing me I had been hit.  I felt hobbled hiding in that tiny shadow, my frustration and anger resisting every thought of finding a way out of this predicament.  I was on the brink of self-destruction if I did not start thinking clearly and save my rage for later.  I was furious with myself for pulling such a stunt.  I was no cherry and yet here I was outside the wire, cut off and wounded.

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

Anyone who has not experienced a flashback really can’t have any idea how absolutely real, this-is-happening-now, oh-my-God earthshaking an event one can be.  We’re told it’s all in our heads.  Get over it.  Well I’m here to tell you folks… It doesn’t work like that. I wish to hell it were so simple!

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